Saturday, July 16, 2022

A DAY AT THE BEACH by Jayne Ormerod

It’s that time of year, you know, beach season. A time to pack up your beach bag and escape to the shore for bit of fun and sun (and in my case, the inevitable sunburn).

Popular activities which can only be enjoyed at the beach include body surfing, boogie boarding, sand-castle building, and fighting off seagulls for the last potato chip on your plate.

As the sun goes down, you repack your bag and head for a local beach dive bar. Popular post-day-at-the-beach drinks include Pina Colada, Mojito, Orange Crush, and the much less popular but certainly appropriate Seagull Wine. Not something I've ever heard of, but I'm picturing a nice pinot gris with a soaring seagull on its label. I could not be more wrong.

Those of you with a curious mind will have your finger twitching on your mouse to scamper off to Google-land. I’ll save you the trouble.

Seagull Wine, a delightful delicacy, is said to be first invented by the Inuits. Its recipe is alarmingly straightforward; put a dead seagull into a bottle, fill it with water and leave it in the sun until it has fermented. One who purports to have tried the concoction is Suzanne Donahue who described it thusly: “If you opened up a Toyota’s Carburetor and drank the leftover fluid from inside, that would be pretty close. It goes down hard and settles in even worse. But I must say it sure gets people inebriated in a hurry. And the next day’s hangover is nothing short of spectacular. You’ll feel like you’ve been repeatedly beaten over the head by a giant…well, seagull.” <<Source: https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2014/08/worlds-weirdest-alcoholic-drinks/>>

Seems a fitting end to the creature who stole my last potato chip. But, well, yuck. My advice...stick to the Orange Crushes. 

Time to head home, sun-sapped, liquored up, and happy as the proverbial clam (the whole-belly variety which you may, or may not have enjoyed, deep fried and crunchy and drenched in aioli dipping sauce). You’ll take with you wonderful memories, a rejuvenated spirit, and the free souvenir which every beach goer takes home…sand in your shorts. Wow, what a feeling!

That’s it from Sand in our Shorts central this week. Now it’s your turn. What is your favorite beach activity and/or beach-themed cocktail?

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For more information on Jayne Ormerod, please visit her website

 

21 comments:

Teresa Inge said...

Great post! Seagull Wine is interesting!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jayne Ormerod said...

Teresa...yeah, a big NO to seagull wine! I think I'll stick to Cabs, how about you? Thanks for stopping by the blog today!

Anonymous said...

I live in a beach town. We experience the beach somewhat differently. I rarely go down to the oceanfront during tourist season. Who wants to fight the traffic and pay for parking? We do have a national park that is next to a state park on the water though. No swimming, so the tourists stay away. But you can walk on the beach for miles and after the first 200 yards or so, there are no people. Just you, the wind, the sand, the blue sky, and the waves. Well some birds, too. Calming and freeing. One of my favorite things. In summer, I followup with a trip to the farmers market for corn, tomatoes and watermelon. Yum.
As for sand, well you can get it out of your house eventually, but somehow never completely out of the car.

Jayne Ormerod said...

There is something about the ocean/bay that reaches into one's soul with a calming effect. I'm like you, don't love the crowds, but a walk at sunrise or unset is the best. Thanks for stopping by the blog today!

Max Jason Peterson said...

Does anyone around here actually serve Seagull Wine? I'd be afraid to try it. Of course, the colorful name & origin mean that this is definitely going to end up in a story at some point! Now I'm going to invent a whole bunch of unheard of & unlikely spirits...thanks for the inspiration! I do love Orange Crush :)

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to bet you couldn't even get Seagulls to touch seagull wine. I like good old Rum and Coke. Sort of Island-y and very easy.

Anonymous said...

I'm having trouble getting my replies to include my name. FYI, the last comment was from Maria Hudgins.

Jayne Ormerod said...

It's not available commercially. It's up north like Greenland and Iceland. But yes, inspiring to create some unlikely sources for fermentation. Cheers!

Jayne Ormerod said...

Maria, good old Rum and coke...over ice. A great way to end the day. Cheers!

Michael Rigg said...

For comments to come in under your name, I suggest opening your Google Blogger account through Google Chrome. That's the only way I've been able to make it work.

Michael Rigg said...

My favorite beach activity? Watching everyone enjoy the beach from an air conditioned room, either a hotel room or a beachfront rental. To quote a fictional spy who shall remain nameless, "Civilization, Baby!" (Maybe I'll go so far as to include sitting on the shaded porch or deck of a beachfront house.) As for the drink, it's got to be cold, ice cold.

Michael Rigg said...

Here's my suggestion for Seagull wine. Start with Thunderbird and add a little chicken broth. Not a lot. Just enough to give it a slightly salty taste. If you ply your guest with enough other alcohol, he or she probably won't catch on, especially if you add a feather or two.

Jayne Ormerod said...

Michael...you are hilarious! I'll be sure and add a feather to all my beach drinks.

Sheryl Jordan said...

Great post! Very hilarious! I love Orange Crush or a glass (or 2) of Chardonnay. I will pass on the Seagull Wine!

Jayne Ormerod said...

Sheryl, thanks for stopping by the blog. Oddly enough I have not found a single person brave enough to try seagull wine! I will continue my search!

Anonymous said...

Lots of crushed ice, sweet, tangy lemonade and sweet tea is my favorite beach drink! It’s best enjoyed while making a sandcastle under a large beach umbrella—the sun has it out for me! -Yvonne Saxon

Jayne Ormerod said...

Yvonne, sweet tea has kept many a southern lady cool in the summer. Yum!

Kim Thorn said...

Interesting. Never heard of seagull wine. Although I suggest just taking a chilled wine bottle (your favorite) and just watch the seagulls. And if they do steal a potato chip, let someone else try the seagull wine. Of course, using that same seagull that took that chip. That swarmy varmint deserves it! Jayne, although I think a mystery involving seagull wine is very fitting. bahahaha (laughing dastardly while rubbing the tips of my moustache)!

Anonymous said...

Death by Seagull Wine? It has potential!

Jayne Ormerod said...

I have no idea why that came up as anonymous! It was me! Jayne O!

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