[I had another blog post ready to go, but recent events have pushed that aside.]
When I was young, I was the kid who checked
out a stack of books from the library as big as I could carry. I read everything – from Encyclopedia
Brown to classics like Twain and Dickens, then Agatha Christie to That Was Then, This is Now,
Watership Down, and short stories like “Success” and “The Lottery.” I learned
so much from books.
But not everything.
Yesterday (as I write this), Lieutenant Colonel
Brandon Shah, US Army, was shot dead while teaching a class at Old Dominion
University. He was in his second tour as commander of Old Dominion University’s
ROTC Monarch Battalion, which also serves Virginia Wesleyan and Tidewater
Community College.
Lt. Col. Shah and I overlapped for a brief
period. I didn’t know him well because I retired soon after he was posted to
ODU, but I knew he was the leader the battalion needed after COVID. An ODU ROTC
alum himself, he was gung ho. Enrollment in the ROTC battalion shot up 50% in
the first year alone. He reinstated the annual stadium rappel, where civilians
could rappel off the top of the football stadium. And so much more.
And now he’s gone.
To put our relationship in context, I was his
academic dean so in essence, he reported to me. And to the Army, of course. The
reality, though, is that I served the ROTC, a role of which I was very proud.
Before, and sadly after, they were so often afterthoughts. To me, they were as
important as any other unit in my college. Besides, what other unit on campus
graduated 100% of their students in four years, provided free faculty, and
recruited students with high GPAs and test scores, not to mention defending our
freedom?
Just before I got the news of the attack, I
read a brief article in Reader’s Digest promoting bibliotherapy, or the
reading of books to help boost mental health. The anonymous author says that reading
about how characters handled similar predicaments can improve your mental
health, something I have found true throughout my life. There are even book blogs, like Book Therapy, where you can
input something you’re facing or feeling to get
I’m not ready for that, not yet.
Like the time I was in the room when the
doctor told my mother there was nothing more they could do for her cancer. She
didn’t cry, and she didn’t want crying around her. One time, she sent her best
friend home and told her not to come back unless she wouldn’t cry.
So I didn’t cry. But like I told a friend, if
a bus was coming at me, I wouldn’t get out of the way.
Shortly after my mother died, which was soon
after several other losses including my father-in-law, I read When a Monster
Calls by Patrick Ness, based on a concept developed by Siobhan Dowd while
she was dying of cancer. It’s about a son whose mother is also dying of cancer.
I read it on a plane – big mistake. I boohooed like a baby. For once, I was in
a window seat (I’m usually on the aisle), so I buried my head toward the
window, trying not to embarrass everyone around me.
But the book helped. The story helped me
clarify my feelings, and once identified, I could slay that monster.
I think about Mom often. Seeing the candytuft bloom
and smelling the abelia blossoms. Riding a ski lift with my children and now my
grandchildren. On her birthday. Biting into a piece of fudge. Repeating her
words to one of those grandchildren.
I can only imagine what Lt. Col. Shah’s family
is going through. How the cadets are doing. How my friends who work in that
program are coping. I hope they find those little ways to remember their
friend and leader, how he cared for them, and his love for them.
And when they reach the right point, may they
find a book that can provide support, or guidance, or whatever it is they need.
Because the book is out there, ready for them.
I’m sure a book is out there for me to help with
mourning the loss of my friend.
Just not yet.
I'd like to hear from readers about books that they found to be more than just an entertaining story. Titles like Tuesdays with Morrie, Fahrenheit 451, Midnight Library, The Night Circus, and more.
