Saturday, December 17, 2022

IF MYSTERY WRITERS WROTE CHRISTMAS SONGS by Yvonne Saxon


If you let a mystery writer loose with the lyrics of a Christmas song, you might end up singing something like this:

On the first day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, crime scene tape strung on my Christmas tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, two inheritance fights, and some crime scene tape strung on my Christmas tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, three funny sidekicks, two money fights, and that yellow tape up on my Christmas tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, four puzzling clues, three funny sidekicks, two inheritance rows, and the crime scene tape looks funny in my tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, five amateur sleuths! four crazy clues, three snarky friends, two family fights and the crime scene tape is ugly in my tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, six plotting villains, five nosy sleuths, four puzzling clues, three funny friends, two fights for money, and that black and yellow tape in my Christmas tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, seven prints for dusting, six evil villains, five amateur sleuths, four hard clues, three sidekicks, two contested wills, and some crime scene tape still on my Christmas tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, eight thieves a sneaking, seven fingerprints, six scheming bad guys, five amateur sleuths, four puzzling clues, three sidekicks, two inheritance fights, and that crime scene tape is sticking to the lights!


On the ninth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, nine weapons hiding, eight guys a stealing, seven prints now showing, six wicked villains, five grandmas watching, four tricky riddles, three girlfriends, two angry families, and there's black and yellow plastic in my tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, ten clocks a ticking, nine weapons missing, eight robbers robbing, seven prints for matching, six villains cackling, five amateur detectives, four secrets found, three close buds, two inheritance fights, and the crime scene tape is smelling on my tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, eleven bodies hiding, ten timers timing, nine lead pipes flying, eight thieves a stealing, seven scrolls and whirls, six nefarious planners, five sleuths in action, four hints to solve, three punny guys, two families split, and the crime scene tape is melting to my tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my mystery gave to me, twelve cozy mysteries, eleven bodies found, ten clocks at midnight, nine weapons dredged up, eight thieves in handcuffs, seven prints matched, six villains caught, five amateur sleuths, four clues worked out, three best friends, two wills decided, and the crime scene tape will never leave this tree!

5 comments:

Michael Rigg said...

Excellent post, Yvonne. Who thought anyone could ever improve "The Twelve Days of Christmas"?

Yvonne Saxon said...

Thanks, Michael, but I don’t know if “improvement” is the word I’d use!😆 But it was fun!

Teresa Inge said...

Love it!! Now I’m singing the new 12 days of Christmas mystery song!

Penny Hutson said...

That was so much fun. Years ago I wrote “Twas the Night Before Bookfair.” You’ve inspired me. Maybe I’ll write a new one with a mystery or writing theme. Perhaps something like “‘Twas the night before deadline and just after tea. No one was writing. Not even me!” Could be fun. ☺️

Sheryl Jordan said...

Love this! Sounds like you had a lot of fun creating this!

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