TROPES, CLICHÉS, AND STEREOTYPES, OH MY! A CHRISTMAS STORY UNDER THE LOOKING GLASS. By Guest Blogger Charles “Chuckie” Farkus

Be careful kid, "You'll shoot your eye out!"

What a great opportunity this is for me to set the record straight. When I heard that the Sand in Our Shorts blog had a holiday opening designed to give its regular contributors a chance to enjoy the holiday with family and friends, I jumped at the opportunity. Do you know what it’s like to be the younger sibling of a famous movie villain, like Scut Farkus in A Christmas Story? Well, I do. And I have tales to tell.

Seems that everyone remembers my evil big brother. Yeah. Green eyes, yellow teeth, coonskin cap. That’s who I’m talking about. (He grew up to be a police officer, you know.) But then there’s me, baby brother Charles “Chuckie” Farkus. We also lived on Cleveland Street, two houses down from Ralphie and Randy Parker, next door to the Bumpasses. I was best friends with Randy. I looked like a tick and couldn’t put my arms down on the way to school, either. But do you hear about me and my challenges? No.

And what a rotten movie it is, filled with tropes, clichés, and stereotypes. You know, things like “You’re gonna shoot your eye out,” the Italian word Fra-gee-lay, sticking your tongue to a frozen flagpole, and my favorite, Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Oh, please! The writers ought to be ashamed.

So tell me, what’s your favorite or, better yet, least favorite, thing about A Christmas Story? And don’t worry if you haven’t seen it. You can check your channel guide for where to find the next marathon, 24-hours-a-day, “wash-Ralphie’s-mouth-out-with-soap” barf-o-rama.   

Oh, by the way, there’s a sequel—A Christmas Story Christmas. I’m not in that one, either. I can hardly wait to watch it—NOT. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just sit her enjoying a piping hot cup of Ovaltine, as I check the blog every few minutes for your comments.