Be careful kid, "You'll shoot your eye out!" |
Seems that everyone remembers my evil big brother. Yeah. Green eyes, yellow teeth, coonskin cap. That’s who I’m talking about. (He grew up to be a police officer, you know.) But then there’s me, baby brother Charles “Chuckie” Farkus. We also lived on Cleveland Street, two houses down from Ralphie and Randy Parker, next door to the Bumpasses. I was best friends with Randy. I looked like a tick and couldn’t put my arms down on the way to school, either. But do you hear about me and my challenges? No.
And what a rotten movie it is, filled with tropes, clichés,
and stereotypes. You know, things like “You’re gonna shoot your eye out,” the
Italian word Fra-gee-lay, sticking
your tongue to a frozen flagpole, and my favorite, Christmas dinner at a
Chinese restaurant. Oh, please! The writers ought to be ashamed.
So tell me, what’s your favorite or, better yet,
least favorite, thing about A Christmas
Story? And don’t worry if you haven’t seen it. You can check your channel guide
for where to find the next marathon, 24-hours-a-day, “wash-Ralphie’s-mouth-out-with-soap” barf-o-rama.
Oh, by the
way, there’s a sequel—A Christmas
Story Christmas. I’m not in that one, either. I can hardly wait to watch it—NOT.
So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just sit her enjoying a piping hot cup of
Ovaltine, as I check the blog every few minutes for your comments.