GETTING BEATEN UP! By: Kimberly Thorn

I am still hard at work researching another awesome writer to share with you how they helped make the pen mightier than the sword.  While I work on that, I felt you needed to have some fun. I know I do at least. Until next time, when I introduce a new timeless writer, I hope you enjoy the following!

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Starting something new can be exhilarating but it can also be scary. Although I have written smaller pieces of prose, I have dreamed ever since I was a child that I would become a famous published author of novels. Specifically, that I would be listed on the New York Times Bestseller List. I am fast realizing that my dream is not going to be an easy one.  Writing a novel, any novel, but especially the first one is a tough job. It can be a big struggle. There are several reasons why. First, characters do not always do what you want them to do. Second, the greatest novel writers say that there should be a theme weaved into the novel. Third, writers need to know when to and when not to reveal certain information to the reader.

PICK YOUR POISON: TIPS FOR A "PLANT BASED" MYSTERY! by Yvonne Saxon

 

You see "plant-based" options everywhere: in grocery stores, in restaurants, even in fast food establishments. But unless you want to end up as a real-life victim, you'll want to pass on the following plant-based offerings and use these tips in a mystery instead!

1. Don't eat your vegetables! Did you know there's such a thing as "death by lima bean"? Raw lima beans contain extremely high levels of cyanide. How you get your character to ingest them is up to you, but for those you're keeping alive, thoroughly cook the beans, uncovered, so that the poison escapes as gas. Drain the cooking water too, unless you're "offing" more characters!

NAMING YOUR CHARACTERS by Maria Hudgins

 

I feel like some writers give their characters random names. Maybe they throw darts at a phone book or something. But this system would now be obsolete. (What's a phone book, Daddy?) But in fact one famous writer did just that. Allegedly. Somerset Maugham is said to have named a couple by the phone book method and chosen their address from a street map of London. It is said that Maugham was threatened with a lawsuit when a couple with a similar name actually lived at a similar address and took exception to Maugham's version of the shenanigans going on at their house.

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD CHARACTERS BY Guest Blogger Jayne Ormerod

“Stop jumping on the bed before you fall off and crack your head open!”

How many times did you hear that when you were young? Or perhaps yelled it to rambunctious children yourself? Okay, now raise your hand if you’re guilty of leaping fearlessly across the chasm between twin beds anyway, and managed to do so safely. I see I’m in good company.

Yes, I’ve knocked a few pictures askew, broken a lamp or two, maybe even left a few dents in the plaster wall, but I have never, ever, in all my years of bed jumping, cracked my head open. Leave it to my mom to always warn me about the worst possible outcome of any situation.

“Don’t run with scissors or you’ll poke your eye out.”

“Don’t get near the lawnmower without shoes on or you’ll cut your foot off.”

“Don’t lick the beaters while the mixer is on because it will yank your tongue clear out of your mouth.”