It’s
November, and on the East Coast that means two things. The weather cools and the
leaves turn to a beautiful red, gold, and orange. Across America we also
celebrate one of my favorite holidays – Thanksgiving. Family and friends gather
around the table for a wonderful meal in a meager attempt to honor the shared
autumn feast between the Plymouth colonists and the Native American Wampanoag
people back in 1621.
During the Thanksgiving holiday season, we often talk
of being grateful or giving thanks for what we have. The word “thanks” is even
in its name; but if you knew the true benefits of being grateful, you’d want to
do it all year long.
In M.J Ryan’s Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give
and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life, the author lists fifteen ways
that being grateful is good for us. She calls them “the gifts of gratitude.”
While I won’t write about all fifteen, I will highlight
a few that surprised or enlightened me. Of course, she included the more
obvious results like feeling more joyful, kind and generous.
What I found interesting, however, was the medical
evidence she cites showing that emotions such as gratitude and love strengthen and
enhance our immune systems. When we harbor negative emotions like worry, anger,
and hopelessness, we can reduce the number and slow down the movement of
disease-fighting white cells in our bloodstreams. That’s not good.
However, the findings suggest that when we focus on
being grateful, it reduces those negative emotions and instead releases
endorphins into the blood stream. Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers,
and they stimulate the blood vessels. This leads to a relaxed heart and reduces
the amount of adrenaline in our bodies which constrict blood vessels and raise
blood pressure. In fact, too much adrenaline in our system can also damage
arteries and even the heart itself.
So, while you may have known that being grateful is
good for your health, you may not have known the specifics.
Ryan says that gratitude also keeps us current because
“. . .when we experience a sense of gratefulness, we are usually contemplating
some present circumstance.” We stop thinking about any past failures or future worries;
thus, Ryan explains, “we are brought up to date with ourselves.” In other words, we can’t harbor opposite
emotions at the same time. We can’t be both happy and unhappy in the same moment.
I suppose we could flip back and forth; but to Ryan’s point, if we’re practicing
and truly focusing on being grateful, we won’t be focused on what’s wrong in
our lives. She recommends we practice being grateful daily. I found all this
information rather insightful.
Gratitude also cures perfectionism, according to Ryan.
As a self-described perfectionist myself, I am particularly excited by this
prospect. First, Ryan quotes Sarah Ban Breathnach who reminds us that after creating
the earth, even God declared it “very good” not “perfect.” I don’t think she’s
suggesting God is less than perfect. I believe her point is that He would not
expect us to be.
Ryan points out that “. . . perfectionism is born of a
sense of inadequacy, of lack,” and that “. . . gratitude counteracts it by tapping
us into the experience of abundance.” Again, if we’re focused on what we’ve
accomplished versus what’s yet to be done, we are less likely to feel
inadequate and better able to resist the urge toward perfectionism.
Another surprising gift of gratitude is that it draws
people to us and helps us keep them in our lives. “When we are grateful,” says Ryan,
“we exude happiness and that makes us magnets that draw people toward us.” It’s
true, I believe. Don’t we all prefer to be around upbeat, happy people? Of
course, we all complain occasionally, but no one likes a constant whiner or an
overly negative person.
And the last one I’ll mention is how gratitude can
release us from the ‘gimmes.” According to Ryan, consumer debt and personal
bankruptcies are “. . . at the highest level in U.S. history.” I didn’t
research the accuracy of that fact, but I do know we are a culture of consumers
and credit card debt. Rarely does a week go by at my house without at least one
Amazon delivery. Ryan’s suggestion is to not buy anything new, except for food,
for two weeks. During that time notice what you liked about that shirt or other
items you already own. Focus on what you have. Ryan claims this gift can help
us get “. . . off the consuming treadmill so many of us are caught on.”
The second half of Ryan’s book, which I did not
discuss, details how to cultivate and create an attitude of gratitude all year,
along with daily practices that will deepen your journey into a more joyous
life.
May you have a wonderful, happy, and more grateful Thanksgiving.
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